Random Thought Thursday

Thursday again....time for some random thoughts!

1. Much to much randomness in my head today! I have been going through a sleep deprivation program that my daughter has developed for me. For those who may not know, she is NOT a newborn, does not need to wake up to eat or be changed or soothed like newborns, but she is about 19 times crazier! Seriously, I am going nuts. I am a bad mother and basically let Addi rule to roost. Hence the backfire. She wakes up at about midnight each night and calls for me. I rush to her crib and give her kisses and tell her to go to sleep....but....she cant fall asleep unless she is holding my hand. She cant drive in the car unless she is holding my hand (it will kill us both.) She doesn't even like to just watch TV unless I am holding her hand. At first it was cute, she needed me so much that she just wanted to touch me all the time. Now I regret it. So there I am, drunk with sleep standing at her crib with her cute fingers wrapped around mine.

She is finally asleep....tiptoe out.....quietly climb into bed....breath sigh of relief......

"MOMMY!!!"

F-word.

So last night I let her cry. An hour later after calling for me, yelling "HELP" as loudly as possible, what finally did it in was when she started wanted a "Rock-a-bye" over and over. Crying makes me tired...it is like speed for her. She was wide awake and giddy to see me in hopes that we could play. At 2 am mommy is in no mood to play. I have failed at being a sleep momma and vow to make my next child (heaven help us) less needy.

2. How crafty am I? I had so much fun making her Halloween dress that I made a thanksgiving day dress that anyone could be thankful for...
There is something so satisfying to me sitting at a sewing machine. I used to be totally terrified of them, I vaguely remember making a crazy hot pad that I would rather be burnt with than use...it really was bad. I think the teacher felt bad for me and my total lack of homemaking skills.

3. For the love of deformities.

I love my job. Every other day I get to hang out with crazy teenagers and talk about whatever I want! Seriously, I show up, have a basic plan of what to do and we chat the day away. Sure I sometimes yell and them and call them morons and bastards (I really don't, but I want to) but all and all, I am shocked they pay me what they do for my job. So right now we are taking about heredity and genes and stuff. Today was genetic mutation. Just hearing the name you know you are in for a good time:

Who doesn't love a four legged duck?This is kinda awesome/kinda gross. This guy has his big belly because when he was in his mothers nice warm womb, his sweet twin brother died and his belly absorbed him...that's brotherly love. So he has his dead twin brother in his tummy. Nice.

This is the cyclops cat. Yep a good old fashioned one eyed cat.

I have no doubt that I am a demented freak for enjoying this lesson so much. I like freaky things, I'm sure there are quite a few of you freaks out there...admit it!

4. Damn dog...again.

Macie keeps getting me in trouble! We go outside to play and she follows us, until someone (who she is sure is a serial killer that will end our existence) comes by and Macie starts barking like a crazy person! I agree she is annoying, I want to punch her too, but come on, she weighs like 14 lbs. Really not scary. But the HOA guy came up and told me that I needed to control my dog. I blankly stared at him while thoughts of his lack of masculinity flooded my mind. Whatever dude. Then yesterday, a guy (what the hell men, get some cojones) and told me to get my dog on a leash or else....or else what? Who knows. I'm sick of getting in trouble for the silly white dog that just likes to hear her own voice, it that so bad?

Well everyone, thanks for letting me rant...until next week see ya later!

Random Thought Thursday Part Deux

Time for my second addition of Random Thought Thursday!

1. Damn Dog.

I remember the days prior Addi that my poodle filled the space in my heart that yearned for motherhood. I got to take care of her and feed her and do all the cute things that I wanted. That was a little over 18 months ago. Her bark didn't seem like the harsh piercing noise that it does now, of which she likes to use as frequently as possible. I don't remember her chasing people down the street like she does now (children are terrified!) I don't remember her constantly urinating on ever bit of carpet (I DO remember getting up at 2 in the morning to let her out.) Now I think I am just too tired. Too tired for her barking all hours of the day, too tired to take her on the random walks that we used to go on. Now she has a new ruler (Addi) and she no likie. When we eventually move into a new house (entirely different topic) she is no longer allowed at our house. I know this sounds amazingly horrible, and I agree, but my dad has seen the damage that she can do and says that he wont let her ruin a new home. I will miss her, I promise, but it will kinda be nice to not find the latest damage that she has created.

Look at this face, how could she be anything but sweet and puppylike?

2. Top Chef Time!

If you have the the Bravo channel, and you don't watch Top Chef, you are mildly retarded. I love this show, I have loved it since season one when I first laid eyes on Tom Colicchio and fell in love with the quirky cooking competition. I would love to someday be on it but I know I would start crying when I had to make my first thing and realized that I couldn't use a cookbook and the fact that everyone is mean and cocky and have a much higher self esteem than I. I am a little nervous for this season because there has yet to be a person that I am cheering for. Usually I can pick out someone that I root for but that person has not emerged yet.

3. Biggest loser

I do however have many people I HATE on this show. I want to know how many of you watch it and have grown to despise Vickie. She is pure evil. Where her soul is lies a giant stinky spider of death (I hate spiders so I just imagine that is what she is full of.) I was pumped to see her stupid lame old husband get kicked off, and I hope she gains all the weight back, (I know, I am bad, but seriously, you have to watch to know that she is just plain wrong!) She is just the start of it, I hate her husband, I hate Heba (what the hell parents, nice name!) and I hate that whole team. I love this show, I think it is motivating and awesome, but this year I just want them to shut up and go run a lap or something!

4. Addi has finally emerged from her funk! Happy days are here again! This is her new "camera" face. Cheese!

Free form Friday

It is the 7th of November and I am finally looking at the very few Halloween pictures we got. It was truly a miserable day. If she was not so young I would have been very depressed. I know I am to cherish each day with Addi, but sometimes I just wish she were a little older so she could curl up with me and watch scary (kinda scary at least) movies with me and eat junk and just enjoy the holiday...she is not bigger yet.

We have had a few rough times the last couple weeks. She seems so infinitely sad lately. We have to have our own little 'time outs' where I just stop everything and hold her tight and sing to her soft and easy so she can settle down and stop crying hysterically. What is she crying about? Nothing. Seriously, I will put on my shoes and she will lose it. She has become quite a homebody and when I mention doing something it usually leads to tears. She only wants to watch TV and the only time she really gets wound up is right before bed, (figures) and then she bounces off the wall for an hour before she passes out. I am barely hanging on most the day and feel like a total failure as a mommy. But this too shall pass.

Anyway, Halloween was not as fun as Halloween usually entails. We went to my mom's and got her costume on her for a total of 3 seconds before she screamed. It was very cute if she would just believe me on that!

We walked around the block and got her first loot. She loved when they let her pick and she would usually take what I psychically tell her to pick, (sometimes she is a good girl!)

On to other things.... those of you who know my deepest wishes know that I really didn't want to be a softball player in high school, I wanted to be a....wait for it....CHEERLEADER. Spirit fingers and all. I never had the legs for it though and I let the desire burn in me forever. So I love living vicariously through this wonderful show. The DCC! Who wouldn't want to wear sparkling white cowboy boots and have your boobs covered with stars! Count me in! It is on Saturdays so I only have to wait one more day! Addi wants to be one too, I just KNOW it!

Have a happy weekend everyone!